It’s almost game time, friend. Hinge launches one short week from today. You want to feel, think and act like the smoldering essence of desirability that you truly are, especially when all those friends of friends show up in droves on Hinge. They’ll be waiting for rating, and you’ll be primed and ready like a boss.
First, get that iPhone ready. You don’t want anything standing between you and that perfect friend of a friend, so charge it up and clear some memory by deleting all the crappy apps you never use. And we know you have a bunch of old Snapchats straight chilling in your inbox and taking up space. May we remind you: you’ll never see them again. Ever. For the rest of your life. Why are you hoarding them like some forbidden treasure? It’s time to let go.
Do some drills to get your reflexes and rating ability sharp: a rousing round of slapsies, aggressive people-watching on the metro… whatever it takes to get your game at its full potential. If you want to give the most surefire ratings this town’s ever seen, this training is exactly what you need: machine-like hand maneuverability and the strong, perceptive judgement of the world’s most magnificent beast– a Labradoodle shaved to look like a lion.
A little anxious about who your potentials might be? Understandable. Maybe you’ve already encountered Tinder and their swarms of 17-year-old fans, laden with high school lax jerseys, uncomfortable pubescent sexuality, braces, selfies, and all the other nightmarish teenage crap you go to great lengths to avoid in your daily life. Well guess what? Never again. Hinge is about to give you the greatest gift of all: an age parameter filter. We didn’t peak in high school, and neither did you. Roll with us and meet some hunks and babes your own age.
You’re feeling revved and ready to go, as visions of awesome matches dance through your head. Now that your phone, reflexes and confidence are tuned and sharp, it’s time to get your team in order. Rally your friends to help you ensure even more great matches by having them sign up now at Hinge.co. The more of your friends play Hinge, the more potentials you’ll all have. Think of it as a brethren of better dates; a community of cute friends of friends. So huddle up, and prepare to win your love life back– the time is nigh.
Let’s do this. Ready? Break!