Here at Hinge, we’ve recently come up with an important theory. There seems to be a new fear arising among some young adults, alongside really scary things like death and spiders, that is actually far less threatening: awkwardness.
This fear of awkwardness is becoming a major concern, and the people who suffer seem to be downright plagued by it. MTV named one of their garbage TV shows after it. Tweens, teens and even some early-stage adults blog about it constantly. But realistically, it’s the term most misused to describe moments better categorized as “unexpected,” “drunk,” or “I’m so addicted to texting that face-to-face conversations are weird now.” But we’ll get to that later.
Our surveys report that a majority of you are dominating your Hinge experience. You’re responding to your match emails, going on great dates, and straight killin’ it. And for those of you haven’t gotten matches yet, we’re tweaking our algorithms to ensure you’re getting matched faster and more often. So don’t worry your pretty little heads– you’ll be killin’ it in no time too. But this particular ThursDater is meant to offer helpful insight (as well as entertainment) to the silent minority of Hinge users– those who are on the shy side, or just claim their match emails are “awkward.”
Listen up, people: the fact that you “liked” your sorority, Game of Thrones, or Odwalla on Facebook is not awkward; it’s just social media. No shame! We’re all part of the Facebook nation together. Plus, that juice is crazy delicious, and excuse me, Winter is coming. These are important matters.
Now, why don’t we talk about some things that are, in fact, actually awkward?
-When you’re walking down the sidewalk and you acknowledge the person coming the opposite way too early in the walk-by. So both of you start rummaging in your purse/pockets, pretending to text, or looking straight into the sun to willingly burning your corneas out– just to occupy that silent passing time.
-When your roommate and their significant other think you’re sleeping, but you can hear EV. RY. THING. And you can’t unhear things. You just can’t.
-When you’re trying too hard to be funny and respond to someone’s question with, “no… but your mom does.” And then you find out the person’s mom died a few months ago, and you wish for a tornado to come sweep you away.
-Buying condoms and running into literally anyone you know.
-When you’re riding a packed bus with your overnight bag in tow and the bus turns so suddenly that a pair of your underpants catapults out of your bag, onto the the bus floor for everyone to see. And then you lunge for the underpants, miss and claw the air a couple of times, and then finally grab them and stuff them back into your bag. I think we can all agree that would HYPOTHETICALLY be so awkward we’d never take that particular route 29 bus again.
Now that we’ve established the real meaning of awkward, we think it’s pretty clear that responding to your match emails is definitely not awkward. In fact, it’s awesome. Making the first move might seem intimidating, but we’d like to remind you that matches mean you’re BOTH interested in each other! So be bold. Say hi. Exchange numbers. Go out together and talk about those “weird” Facebook likes. Who knows? You might share a strong penchant for Chipotle, but you won’t know until you get things started.
Furthermore, it should be noted that while technology and gadgets are awesome (trust us, we love them too), we are humans; apps and the internet can’t actually date people for us. But there’s one app that can (and will) do a bunch of wonderful things to enhance your human dating life: Hinge. We’ll eliminate that intimidating part in the beginning. We’ll help you easily find awesome dates who already know your friends. We’ll even throw some raging parties where you can plan to meet up with them!
Hinge is a return to real dating, with real connections. And all you have to do is ‘Reply All’ to your match emails to get this realness started. Now go out there and live a little. We know you’ve got it in ya.