|All glory to the charcoal gods! It’s almost BBQ season, and Memorial Day is cookout Christmas. Guys who can barely prepare a turkey sandwich during the colder months quickly morph into Bobby Flay protégés, and every girl is suddenly elbowing to be named queen of quirky summer salads. For which, by the way, we have a creative limit — kale, watermelon and boiled peanuts are never going to happen, regardless of what you saw on Pinterest. Let it go.
But otherwise, Memorial Day weekend really is the best. The weather is warm, backyard cookouts are awesome, and the air is ripe with the potential for courtship. So while visions of scarfing BBQ and slamming back Sam Summer with a new companion fill your head, allow us to fill your social calendar!
Hinge is throwing the inaugural Memorial Day BBQ Extravaganza that will shame all other Memorial Day parties, and you need to be there. This is some primo fun we’re talking about. We mean business when we throw down (ahem, our launch party), so follow our advice and you will experience the stuff that BBQ dreams are made of.
First step? Look sharp– your ensemble could be the perfect conversation starter. Gents, we expect you to don your patriotic best. May we suggest that little sleeveless number you bought last year, but never wore? You know the one– it’s probably got an eagle on it. With fireworks for eyes. And also it’s clutching a stuffed-crust pizza and a Bud Heavy tall boy as it soars over a Bass Pro Shop, where only Ford F150s are parked in the parking lot. Just something that gently illustrates the true vision of our founding fathers.
Ladies, the look is simple: barbe-cute. (Ya like that?) We know you’re fully capable of putting together a great outfit, so let your hunger for fashion take the reins. Also your actual hunger. Perhaps a simple sundress with a classic “rack-of-ribs” print. Or if you’re more into accessories, any of these beautiful baubles should do nicely:
Games? Got ’em. Challenge a cute fellow guest to a round of cornhole. A scientist told us that a little competition is highly conducive to romantic chemistry, so you should listen to him and get out there. Plus, we’ll be astroturfing the entire rooftop of Jack Rose (seriously), so you’ll have a plush carpet of plastic grass beneath you as the sparks (and beanbags) begin to fly.
And FYI, that same scientist also told us that astroturf can enhance tossing form, thereby increasing your wins tenfold. And everyone loves a winner. Everyone.
We’ve got more than a week until the festivities, but we’re already experiencing early symptoms of being super stoked. We can already smell the tangy sweetness of the sauced-up brisket sliders we’ll be serving (among other ridiculously tasty things). We can already hear the soft, drunken chants of “U-S-A!” rising into the sunset over Adam’s Morgan. And most importantly, we’re already getting chills from the sparkling chemistry of all the Hinge matches meeting in person for the first time.
So if only the most insanely delightful of celebrations will suit you, get your ticket now, before they sell out! Start your party-prep according to our high-class advice. Play Hinge before the party so you can see who else is going, and maybe even end up as one of those matches with the sparkling chemistry we just mentioned.
In the words of the late, great Miley Cyrus, let’s party in the USA. See you on the roof!