The ThursDater: Who’s your Hinge?

You may have heard that Hinge recently launched in NYC. Greetings, New Yorkers! We’re pumped to have you with us. Today’s ThursDater will provide some Hinge 101 for all you Hinge rookies.

Remember back in college when your massive (and drunkenly-friended) collection of Facebook friends belonged to coeds, and coeds alone? Because we do, and it was awesome. But then The Zuck decided to let in high schoolers, and then anyone… even our parents. OUR PARENTS! Some of us rebelled, refusing to partake in this non-exclusive nonsense. But after awhile, we maturely acknowledged that we lived in a new type of Facebook world, and it was time to accept it. In other words, we gave up our protests so we could get tagged in our friends’ photos.
Sure, this new Facebook featured tween oversharing and old people writing on restaurants’ Facebook pages. But we also started preening our junked-up friend lists. We “liked” things now. Facebook began to connect with more integral aspects of our social lives. And with this, a bright new opportunity arose– using Facebook to meet great new people, through the friends you already had in your network, and go on awesome dates with them.
Thus, Hinge was born.
We know how carefully you consider your potentials when you play Hinge. After all, these are your future dates we’re talking about. But you also need to notice who you’re matching through. It doesn’t happen often, but it’s good to be conscious of possible trainwrecks BEFORE they happen, instead of trying to dodge the shrapnel as it’s flying into your face.
As your Hinge advisors, we know that sometimes your connections may require a second thought before you tap that star. Here’s a brief guide to help enhance your Hinge matching, with examples for flavor:
A family member. Your cool older cousin who took a sailing trip around the world last year? Yes! Favorite away. They probably met some hot oceanographers, or secret royalty from an Aegean island. But let’s say it’s your super weird Aunt Sylvia, who still collects Precious Moments figurines and named all 12 of her cats after the seven dwarves (there were repeats). Maybe consider passing.
Work acquaintance. Your office best friend? Sure. The intern? They’re leaving at the end of the summer anyway, so go nuts. But what about that guy Carl from accounts that smells like formaldehyde and always gets caught “accidentally” going into the ladies’ restroom? He friended you after an all-hands meeting a few months ago, remember that? Forget to notice his name as the mutual friend, and next thing you know, he’s formaldehyde-ing up the ladies’ restroom at your wedding.
Person you drunk Facebook friended (as an adult). We’ve all been there at some point– this time you were probably having a rockin’ good time at the Kenny Chesney concert, and had one of those spontaneous best friend moments with a stranger. Youdon’t remember, they were bumming most of your Miller Lite during the tailgate, and ripping Marlboro Menthols in and around your face. But you just couldn’t believe how much you had in common– YOU BOTH USE INSTAGRAM! But just because you’re both part of the No-Shoes Nation and love Earlybird, doesn’t mean you have any idea what this person is truly capable of. They already jacked your beer… for all you know, they could be at the heart of a prescription drug ring, peddling bulk amounts of generic Xanax they just hauled up from Mexico. And they’re probably using you as a sad, beer-generous drug mule, so look at you now. Check your pockets thoroughly.
An ex. Obviously this totally depends on how long ago you broke up, and how it went. As a general rule of thumb, 3 years ago is okay. 3 days ago… probably not. Additionally, if post-breakup they’ve ever slashed your tires with a machete, set an armchair on fire in your living room, thrown a bottle of Jim Beam through the windshield of your parents’ car, and/or tattooed your likeness onto themselves, that’s a sure pass. Also restraining order and maybe change your name.
All in all, you really need to de-friend these people. But we know it’s hard, because what if you accidentally run into them and they’re all like “we should catch up!” and then they notice you aren’t Facebook friends anymore? Say no more, we understand the “maintenance friendship.”

Our advice here is to just stay sharp when you’re Hinge-ing. Notice last names, always double check your connections, and make those Favorites count!

Now get back out there.

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