The ThursDater: Mobilize Your Dates

Hopefully you know this by now, but Hinge is a mobile app. If you’re like us, you’re feeling pretty mobile at every waking moment. Possibly even at not waking moments– like when you fall asleep every night to the fading light of your LED screen next to your pillow.

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And because so many of you are mobile-loving urbanites who are constantly in transit during your active hours, we’ve thought of something for you: how about having mobile dates? Not only will you get props for creativity, but you’ll also mask your crippling smartphone addiction with scenic distractions.

But choose your outlet wisely, fool!

MrT

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Haunted walking tours. You can hold hands if you get scared of the ghosts! And bonus: there’s safety in numbers when you wander past abandoned buildings that are probably crawling with crackheads, in the dark of night.

HEADsegwaySegway tours. If you have to ask, “why not?” you shouldn’t be allowed to suggest dates.

HEADcarriageCarriage Rides. A romantic, sentimental nod to ye olde days of your city, when the gents still wore top hats, the ladies still curtsied, and homeless orphans robbed you blind while you debated buying a satchel of parsnips.

HEADbusOpen-air bus rides. Your 19-year-old tour guide will attempt to point out significant historical sites, like the city’s original town hall (which is now a Chipotle), as well as which restaurant Ryan Gosling chose for brunch when he was in town a few months ago. Also perfect for when you feel like simultaneously having bus exhaust sift gently over your face, and zero control over pigeons crapping in your hair.

HEADcruiseBooze cruises. Remember how cool this was when you were home from college in the summer? Relive those glory days and climb aboard. Invite your date to join you in polishing off a flask of Sailor Jerry, and then talk about how your respective study abroad experiences changed your life until a makeout is imminent. Extra points if the cruise is Pirate themed.

HEADduckDuck Tours. While these (unfortunately) happen in many cities, they’re a particular breed of nonsense in Boston. Your exotic voyage will begin with traveling 12 miles an hour down a busy road, while angry locals lay on their horn as long as they feel is appropriately offensive. Then, your crude, amphibious vessel will enter the waters of Boston Harbor, while your guide (a 68 year-old former scrod fisherman from the Cape, who recently lost his pension) hoarsely shouts out regional landmarks and bad puns through a crackly microphone.

Also note: you’ll be crammed against droves of midwestern tourists (and their rowdy, screaming children), who will be taking pictures of floating garbage and wondering aloud if every single building you pass by is Harvard.

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So, those ideas should get you started off on the right foot, but be creative! And if you prefer to stay indoors, chewing a meal together over a conversation where your eyes glaze over every time one of your phones buzz, that’s cool too. Even though there isn’t THAT much time left in the summer and soon the icy death winds of cruel Father Winter will be choking the life out of your awesome tan/ the warm glow of summer that’s currently smiling upon you. But sure, stay inside.

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In any case, just make sure you play Hinge to find your date. Because regardless of your choice of activity, everything is infinitely more fun when you’re on a date with someone awesome you met through your friends.

PEACE OUT!

Hinge

The ThursDater: The Pitfalls of Modern Dating

You’re well-aware of the traditional ways to avoid a dating faux pas: Ask questions about them. Don’t order lobsters. Don’t sleep together five minutes after meeting. Seems easy enough. Is that why you’re triumphing all these dates, and yet are somehow still single? Nope. Something else is amiss. This may sound crazy, but it’s true: tiny robots are interfering with potentially significant moments in your romantic life. You have so many options for connecting to someone, it’s actually become more difficult to connect with someone. Allow Hinge to help you navigate these modern dating pitfalls.
Generally, it’s perfectly normal to do a little Googling and Facebook investigating before a date; you need to get an idea of their background and confirm they aren’t a serial killer. But this is one of the most slippery slopes known to man. You know how it goes: you’re casually browsing pictures of them, seeing where they went to college, and then before you know it? You’re perusing a photo album of their parents’ second honeymoon and scrolling through their sister’s bridal registry.
If you find yourself here, you’re in dangerous territory– there is a very good chance you may accidentally reveal information on your date that you absolutely, 100% should not know. There is a word we’ve conceived for this: stalkward. Do. not.

If that’s not bad enough, what about the follow-up after the date? If it goes well, you’ll probably start texting. Texting is not ideal for personal interaction, but it’s the accepted way to stay in touch. But let’s say you indulge in a few too many drinks some evening, and feel like saying hi– what’s to stop your innocent texting from morphing into just an enormous blurb of weird Emojis? Or sending a bunch of 3-second Snapchats of yourself trying to eat a piece of pizza in one bite? (Note: this could be cool, or a huge mistake. Major toss-up.) Either way, when it gets down to it, it’s just another distraction keeping you from getting to really know the person.

So stop secretly admiring the picture of the goat cheese omelette they had for breakfast on Instagram, and respond right away to your Hinge match emails to plan something. Stop being stalkward, and go out together.
Go out and have a beer. Go out and eat DC’s greatest gourmet cheeseburger (it’s Palena, if you’re curious). Go out ANYWHERE and have a conversation. You never know what you could end up bonding over. Maybe it’s yellow labs. Or your shared dislike of Lena Dunham’s excessive nudity.

In any case, we think you and your match should go from your phones to your first date as easily and quickly as possible. It’s time to connect with someone.